Puddle

For knitters everywhere

2011-10-24T21:08:00.000-06:00

Baby Quilt 2011

2011-06-26T19:03:00.000-06:00

This is a tied baby quilt that I just finished for a friend's new baby.

I'm Still Here!

2010-10-30T18:44:00.000-06:00

I'm excited to have finished my first pair of fingerless gloves. I found a great pattern (after looking at LOTS of patterns) that I really like. Here are some pictures. You can find the details at Ravelry. My name there is altogirl. Look me up!

Laptop Down!

2010-08-21T18:57:00.000-06:00

My Toshiba laptop is having a seizure. The video display keeps wobbling and freezing up. It's about 6 years old (so about 106 in computer years)and I should probably just give up and buy a new one, but I have a beautiful new desktop and can't see spending the money for a laptop that I use just for fun. So, I'm hopping over to eBay to see if I can find a new or used screen for it. Wish me luck!

Curse of the Stairs

2009-12-30T16:56:00.005-07:00

Now I'm feeling like our family is cursed when it comes to stairs. My oldest daughter fell down three little stairs inside her home and broke her left ankle and her right foot! The ankle was twisted 180 degrees (backwards) and her foot broke vertically. She was in surgery yesterday for about 3 hours. Her foot now has a plate and 8 pins in it. So now she's in a wheelchair and can't walk for at least six weeks.

Geez, our entire family should all live in homes with absolutely NO stairs!

MRI - Magnetic Resonance Imaging

2009-12-28T19:19:00.003-07:00

Today I had an MRI of my left knee and it was MUCH easier than the first one. The tech talked to me throughout the procedure and kept telling me how much time was left. It really helped. Crossing my fingers that this helps diagnose why I'm having so much pain.

Here's a picture of the MRI machine:

Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T14:02:00.001-07:00

Knee Update

2009-12-20T22:40:00.004-07:00

I finally had the sense to go see my primary care physician for this knee problem and he has referred me to the orthopedic surgeon for the Utah Grizzly Hockey team. I have an appointment with him on Tuesday. Keeping my fingers crossed that he will do an MRI.

This will be the fifth doctor I've seen for this since last January and I am almost immobile now unless I use crutches.

I swear, sometimes I feel like kicking these docs in the knee and saying "See! That's the pain I'm talking about!"

Crossing my fingers that this doctor will actually do something.

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They DO exist!

2009-12-09T20:39:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite Christmas commercials ever.

Wanda Sykes compares Obama to Underwear

2009-12-07T19:07:00.001-07:00

OK, I LOVE Hillary and this video cracked me up.

Health Care For All

2009-12-06T17:42:00.003-07:00

Now I’m going to rant about health care in the USA. I follow a blog called “Tee’s Blog” and in one of her latest posts she talks about health care in Northern Ireland where she currently lives. It’s a great post so I’m linking to it. For those of you who receive my blog by email, you’ll need to go to Puddle and then click the link to her blog.

I work in mental health, so I see the disparity between the haves and have nots and how we desperately need a change in our healthcare delivery system.

In this country, even if you are one of the lucky few who has a job with health benefits, you still pay through the nose for your coverage, such as it is. It seems to shrink each year, with higher deductibles, higher copays, and less coverage.

Or, you may have a job, full or part-time, with no insurance benefits at all. What do you do when you or your child is sick? Well, most doctors will now see you on a cash basis, but what if you can’t pay? Then you go to the nearest emergency room, because federal law requires that they see you regardless of insurance status. How much does it cost? Start with $1000 and soar up from there! And if you can’t pay, eventually the hospital passes the cost on – in higher costs to the insurance companies for those who have it. And then they pass it on in higher premiums!

The United States of America is one of the most privileged countries the world has ever seen, yet we are at least a century behind other countries in protecting the health of our citizens. If healthcare were a fundamental right of all citizens, the country would benefit in numerous way. For starters, we would have a healthier workforce. Companies would not be scrounging to find ways to hold down ever-increasing costs of providing insurance. They could put all that money back into research and development or hiring more workers or any number of things that would help to stabilize this country’s frightening financial crisis.

I’ve heard people say they don’t want to pay higher taxes for universal health care. Well, I already pay a lot for my insurance and the company I work for pays even more. If I’m taxed for universal health care, the insurance premiums go away, so it’s a wash, right? Except that EVERYONE is covered, not just me and mine.

I’ve worried about the government administering such a program because they have made such a mess of Medicare and Medicaid, but even so, these programs are MUCH better than nothing. So I have to conclude that yes, our esteemed government will mess it up, but it will still be better than what we have. Each day, I get to see the difference that Medicaid and Medicare can make in the lives of single moms and children, the homeless, or the mentally ill.

Healthcare is a necessity for all, not a luxury for those who are privileged.

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Knee Problems Yet Again

2009-12-02T20:06:00.005-07:00

Sidenote: this blog was originally intended for family and close friends, as a way to stay up to date with happenings in my life. Facebook (that devil!) now reigns supreme as a way of staying in touch, but I still enjoy posting about something or nothing on occasion, so I'm keeping it up. If you find your way here on purpose or by accident or by Google, welcome!

So, on July 4th weekend of 2006, I took a spill down a flight of ten concrete steps. As I tripped, I remember thinking, "there's not a thing I can do now!" (What a weird thing to think.) I just knew I was on my way to meet whatever maker made me.

Imagine my surprise when I came to and was all in one piece, more or less. My visible injuries were a broken hand, a concussion, and a huge bruise on my arm that you can still see today.

Not so visible were the injuries to my knees. I was a aware that they had started to hurt, but chalked it up to age, running when I was in my 30's and 40's, and to the beginnings of arthritis.

Fast forward to January of 2009. I could hardly walk without my left knee popping and collapsing. After an MRI (the panic you feel is REAL, peeps), I had a knee scope for a "shredded meniscus" and a few bone spurs. For a couple of months, it seemed I was healing nicely, but then it all spiraled into the sewer.

Today, nearly a year later, I'm hobbling around again, sometimes using crutches. My doctor says I have acute tendonitis and bursitis, but he thinks the actual knee joint is OK, with the exception of a little arthritis.

Yes, I've had second opinions up the wazoo (I really dislike doctors on general principles) and they each told me something different, mostly contradicting each other very importantly.

So, my question is: have any of you readers had knee trouble or knee scopes and how are you doing? Is there any hope beyond physical therapy or a total knee replacement (which I've been told I'm too young for)? I REALLY hope I get some replies here, I'm feeling pretty desperate!

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Mentally Unhealthy

2009-11-18T21:17:00.004-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted here. I've been busy on my other blog and my world has been in a bit of chaos.

Work has been ulcer-inducing. The mental health company that I work for is laying off about 1/5 of its workforce, mostly licensed therapists, so everyone is waiting for the ax to fall on them. My anger is spilling over into the rest of my life. Once upon a time, I was really proud to work for this company. We do some great things, but now, I see it's just the same as anywhere else. Nepotism runs rampant. We've been consistently lied to and now we're being told that, for those who are so "fortunate" to stay, we'll have to change our insurance to a really shitty plan. Again, this is being dressed up as "better" than what we have now. God, do they think we're really so dumb?

I'm still having a lot of problems with my knees so it looks like I'll need to have surgery sooner, since the insurance will change and won't pay nearly as much. I had hoped to be able to wait until I couldn't walk.

Tonight, I'd really like to break a few dishes, but I'll content myself with whining on this blog. Sorry, peeps! Whine, whine, whine! Or make that Wine, wine, wine!!

Do Your Boobs Hang Low?

2009-10-31T18:50:00.001-06:00

On the Street Where I Live

2009-10-23T20:03:00.003-06:00

Somebody please pinch me. Do I really live in this beautiful city? This is the best of autumn in Utah. Snow to follow at 9.

First Knitting Project

2009-10-21T21:01:00.009-06:00

I completed my first knitting project! It's a scarf made from Paton 70% wool and 30%soy. VERY forgiving yarn. I took it all out and restarted at least four times and it didn't fall apart. It's the garter stitch, knitting only. And here it is:

I've started a second scarf in a Lion Homespun Barley. Here's a color swatch:

And that's why I haven't been blogging lately. Did you buy into that? Didn't think so. My lazy genes took a nice, soft pillow and smothered the few ambitious ones that weren't already dead, dead, dead.

I am suffering from ennui. "A feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest. Boredom." - Dictionary.com

Ennui. Pronounced "ahn-wee." It's French, peeps. Now, I took four years of French, two in high school and two in college. BUT until a few months ago, I saw that word and pronounced it "En-you-i." ARRRGGGH! It didn't LOOK FRENCH! I heard Diane Sawyer use it in a sentence on "Good Morning, America" and felt like a FOOL, a FOOL I tell you!

Green Day wrote "American Idiot" JUST FOR ME. I mean, the internets are right here beneath my nimble fingers with many dictionaries begging to be dictioned.

Oh, that's right, I'm SUFFERING FROM ENNUI and it's just TOO HARD to look anything up! Excuse me while I go catch up my lounging and mindless TV.

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There and Back Again and The Road Goes Ever On

2009-10-02T18:11:00.006-06:00

Why do vacations go by so quickly and workdays pass so S-L-O-W-L-Y? I can see why people go to the Outer Banks again and again and again. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.

But, GETTING there and back again...now that's a story.

I posted about missing my plane in Dallas because of three gate changes when I was flying TO North Carolina. Now for the saga about flying FROM North Carolina back to Salt Lake City so that I could again go to work and pay for the next vacation.

My flight left Raleigh at 10:55 am, which meant I needed to get up around 6:00 am and be on the road by sevenish. No problem, I get up at 6:00 am every weekday at home. So, I was on the road by about 7:00. Got to Raleigh at 9:15, turned in the rental car, got to the terminal and checked in electronically. I didn't look at my flight schedule because who does that? I KNEW what it was because I booked it!

I hoofed it upstairs and got to the gate, waited until about 10:20 and noticed no boarding call for my flight. I politely inquired of the "gatekeeper" who informed me that I had been REBOOKED on a flight to Dallas that left Raleigh at 3:45 that afternoon because my flight from DALLAS at 2:10 had been CANCELLED! Remember this name, peeps. AMERICAN AIRLINES. Fly at your own risk.

I managed to get on the morning flight from Raleigh to Dallas because it wasn't full, but that meant a six hour layover in Dallas. My REBOOKED flight to Salt Lake City didn't leave Dallas until 6:00 that night!

Remember, I was up at 6:00 am. When I got to Dallas, I was bored to death and went trolling for an Internet hookup site. TMobile had one in each concourse but wanted $8.00 per 24-hour access. Now, I wasn't about to tempt fate and have to stay in Dallas for a full day, so I played some games on my laptop, walked around a bit, had some caffeine to stay awake, and found myself back where I started. It was a nice room, rather dim, not a lot of noise, and very comfy leather seats.

I opened my laptop again and promptly felt my eyes closing. I propped my head on my chin and I was out! Every now and then, my arm would slide off the edge of the chair, my chin would slide off my hand, and my head would bobble. The drool would wend it's way down my chin, but I didn't wake up. Dimly, I was aware of my nebulous hold on my laptop and could feel it slipping off my lap.

You know how you sometimes have a weird feeling that someone is watching you, even when you're fast asleep? Well, sometime later (hours apparently), my eyes popped open and I looked directly into the face of this guy who was watching me drool and bobble. Watching and laughing! Not quite holding his sides laughing, but almost.

EEWWEH! I got out of there like a rabbit being chased by Farmer Green.

I had slept like that for FOUR HOURS. Drooling and possibly snoring in an Internet haven. I'm still searching YouTube for the video I'm sure will be circulating.

So guess what? I made my flight, but they didn't give me the seat I had asked for. What seat did I get, you ask? 32F AGAIN. With the window that looks out onto the engine housing. The fates took pity on me, however. The middle seat stayed unoccupied on an otherwise full flight. Ah, sweet luxury!

So, today, October 2, 2009, I got a recorded call from American Airlines politely letting me know that my flight from Dallas to Salt Lake City for September 26, 2009 had been cancelled and I was rebooked on a later flight.

That name again? AMERICAN AIRLINES!

Sunset Over the Marsh

2009-09-21T20:24:00.003-06:00

Susan took this picture of sunset over the marshes on our last evening at the Outer Banks. I love the dark juxtaposed against the orange light and the marsh grass in silhouette.

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Too Sexy For Her Feathers

2009-09-21T20:18:00.002-06:00

This little gal posed very patiently for her portrait:

The seagulls here are so tame, you can almost feed them from your hand. They'll come right up to you and beg. One even had a sign that said, "Will fly for food!"

Old Site of Cape Hatteras Lighthouse

2009-09-18T19:29:00.006-06:00

The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse foundation was being eroded by the ocean, so it was moved in the summer of 1999. Here's a picture I took of part of the old site:

And here it is on the new site:

Weaving and Knitting in Heaven

2009-09-18T18:36:00.011-06:00

Who goes to the Outer Banks and ends up spending a whole day learning how to weave and knit? Susan and me!

Manteo is the birthplace of Virginia Dare. Now, it's this picturesque little town that is home to many craftsmen and craftswomen. It's very small with lots of colonial-looking and gingerbread-type shops. We've spent HOURS exploring what they have to offer. Susan has always wanted to learn to weave and I wanted to learn to knit (Hi Gwen) so we used today and did just that! Here's a picture of Susan weaving:

I spent the day at Kimbeeba. Kimbeeba is Lumbee Indian for "End of Trail." The owner, Sybil Ross, calls herself a "fiberholic in heaven." She spins, weaves, knits, crochets, you-name-it, she can do it! If you're having trouble with a project, you can just walk in and ask for help anytime! Sybil spent the day PATIENTLY teaching me how to knit, purl, cast on (the second way worked like a charm), and bind off. I'm in the process of making my first scarf.

Here are a couple of pictures and I'll post more on Facebook.

HEAVENLY DAY!

Stuck In Dallas

2009-09-16T19:41:00.004-06:00

Could American Airlines BE more disorganized? My connecting flight to Raleigh was supposed to leave from terminal A. The gate was changed to terminal C. So, I was at terminal C an hour before takeoff. At about 25 minutes to flight time, I went to the, ahem, ladies room, which was directly across from C21, where I was supposed to board. I came out noticed that very few people were there, so I asked the attendant if boarding was delayed? NO, the gate was CHANGED. AGAIN. "If you RUN, you might be able to make it." Now peeps, I have meniscal tears in both knees. There is no running in this woman's life at the moment. I got to the correct gate 5 MINUTES too late.

Missed my flight. I had to spend another 4 hours in Dallas and Susan had to wait an extra four hours in Raleigh.

I made the next connection but the only seat they had left was 32F. ARRRGGH! A window seat with a fine view of an engine housing. Two "seatmates", both guys who squished me like a bug. The guy in the middle insisted on putting BOTH elbows on BOTH armrests from Dallas to Raleigh. I spent three hours like this:

It took us nearly four hours to drive to Manteo (on the Island of Roanoke), which is where we're staying. The whole trip? WORTH IT! This is paradise!

Sun, Sand, and Falling Off the Edge of World

2009-09-07T20:38:00.007-06:00

I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again....I may stay at the Outer Banks forever.

Susan and I (friends from high school and college)reconnected on Facebook and have planned this amazing vacation to the Outer Banks. We started planning in March and now it's here! One more week and we'll be sunning and surfing! Well, more like sunning and dipping my toes in the Atlantic.

We're staying in at a bed and breakfast in Manteo. Here's another pic of the B&B.

I looked up the Outer Banks on Mapquest and OH MY LORD! It's a little tiny strip of land right in the middle of the Atlantic! At least it SEEMS like the middle! We're going to be DRIVING on that little spit of land! Oh, grow UP, you say. EVERYONE does it, you say. It's BIGGER than it looks, you say. THAT DOESN'T MAKE MY STOMACH STOP TURNING OVER! Here'a a picture of the map that gives you a bit of an idea:

I actually feel like a kid again. Our family used to vacation at the beach every summer when I was little and I loved the ocean and the sand. I had to be carried kicking and screaming OUT of the ocean. We usually went to Ocean Drive (near Myrtle Beach) so this is my first trip to the LITTLE STRIP OF LAND I MIGHT FALL OF called the Outer Banks.

Susan found the B&B and will do the driving after we meet in Raleigh, so I'm the official entertainment coordinator. Here's a partial list of what we want to do:

Do a jeep ride and see the wild horses at Corolla
Visit at least one botanical garden
Visit the NC Aquarium
Lighthouses-as many as we can fit in
Shell hunting
Golf – nine holes or putt putt
Art galleries
Kayaking
Graveyard of the Atlantic museum
Wineries
NC Maritime Museum in Beaufort
Rodanthe - because of the MOVIE with gorgeous RICHARD GERE

Susan wants to brush up on her diving skills since she's going to Cancun in October. I'm taking my camera and plan to take thousands of pictures.

Wheels up at 6:00 am September 15th!

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Feed Me!

2009-09-03T20:34:00.001-06:00

My belly button empathizes.

Roly-Poly Rollercoaster

2009-09-02T20:21:00.006-06:00

Sigh. Maybe I'm just meant to be Roly-Poly. Light years ago, in a land far away, when I was a runner...I read a book about set point theory. Not the mathematical theory, the weight theory. Basically, our bodies try to conserve fat in case of famine. In order to change a sticky set point, you have to get moving and reset your metabolic rate.

I believe this. Just one slight problem. I fell down some concrete stairs a couple of years ago and nearly killed myself. I broke my left hand, had a concussion, and shredded the meniscus in both knees. This year, I had a scope on the left knee which didn't work. It's left me in near constant pain and I can't walk more than a a few minutes a day without it swelling like a cantalope. Two docs have declared me too young for a knee replacement and basically told me to live with it. UP YOURS, DOCS! You try living with this!

After this upcoming vacation, I'm seeking a third opinion. I really think I need another MRI since my knee pops with each step and locks up everytime I stand up.

So, I'm still trying the Weight Watchers thing, but I'm discouraged. I'm also afraid that if I ever stop using the points system, I'll gain it back and then some, the way of all diets.

Hey, doncha know round is the new runway look? IN MY DREAMS!

After Being on Weight Watchers for 2 Weeks...

2009-08-27T18:56:00.001-06:00

I've gained three pounds.

So...Such a Friendly Word

2009-08-12T19:11:00.015-06:00

So...I joined Weight Watchers online.

(Don't you love beginning a sentence with "So" or "OK?" It feels like you're having a chat with your best friend.)

OK, no I didn't just join online, I joined the "online" program, which means I don't have to go to meetings. I'm an introvert and shun large, anonymous groups. At first glance, I may seem outgoing and charming (Hey now, that's not such a stretch!)

But inside, I grow well in the dark. Kind of like a chewy, chocolatety, nuclear mushroom sludge bar. Hmmmm...wonder if that would sell?

So...I'm using the Isagenix cleanse once a month for nine days and combining it with Weight Watchers for the rest of the month. So far, so good. I like tracking my points each day. It feeds my need for pointless, painstaking statistics.

Oh, and I found the BEST Slurpee in the world! It's Crystal Light Apple Mango and it's ZERO points! At your local 7-11. For those of you who don't have a 7-11 in your neck of the woods, a Slurpee is an Iceee and you can probably find a Crystal Light variety. Tastes great and no guilt!

Remember, if you get a headache while drinking a Slurpee, just drink some more REAL FAST!

How to Know When to Diet

2009-08-11T21:02:00.002-06:00

Diet, Cleanse, Schmense

2009-08-06T20:10:00.006-06:00

Today, I am cleansing. Not cleaning, CLEANSING. For the uninitiated, cleansing means ridding the body of grossissities like toxins, noxious chemicals, gas, dirt, poop and the like.

Y'see, four times a day, today and tomorrow, I drink 4 oz. of a tangy, slightly metallic-tasting cleanse drink. The rest of the day, I STARVE! Rabbit food is OK, as are raw almonds.

After the two days of starvation, I get to drink two "shakes" a day plus a 400-600 calorie meal for the next five days. WONDERFUL after the 2 days of feeling like my stomach is going to implode.

Then, two final days of torture, er, cleansing.

What the heck, it works and it's only nine days a month. I've lost 27 lbs total.

Why am I inflicting agony on my tummy, you ask? Because I'm FAAYAT!!!

Now, this is my idea of a diet:

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Livin' in the 801, by Apartment 204

2009-07-28T19:25:00.001-06:00

This is worth posting a second time. This is how we do in the 801!

Cool Nerd Queen

2009-06-22T18:07:00.006-06:00

I know I'm the Cool Queen of the Fam, but I didn't really think I'm a Nerd.

Take the test to see if you too belong to the sorority (or fraternity as the case may be) at http://www.nerdtests.com. To see my scores, click on the title of this post. (Actually, I'm kind of embarrassed by my scores. Apparently, I'm in the top tier of Nerddom. I thought I was pretty normal.)

Bacon's Revenge

2009-06-06T13:14:00.005-06:00

Me, Yesterday

2009-06-06T13:02:00.006-06:00

Thanks to Tamiflu, I'm now feeling somewhat better. Isn't the web great? We can all chronicle every disgusting detail of our illnesses! You cain't buy fun lak that! (Southernese).

The Piglets's Flu

2009-06-04T11:42:00.004-06:00

This from my daughter-in-law:

So when we took Tay to the Dr. he wanted to know the symptoms he's been feeling...Tay said "headache, it hurts to stand up, I'm dizzy, I can't breathe, I have a sore throat, runny nose, my stomach hurts" and the Dr. said sympathetically "aw, so you feel like you've been hit by a truck?" to which Tay responds "no, I don't know what that feels like at all... do you have a lot of patients that have been hit by a truck?"

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Perils of the Health Care System or IHC vs the other guys

2009-06-03T20:32:00.001-06:00

I don't have H1N1. That's the good news. The bad news is I have an unnamed crud. Well, we have the bird flu, the swine flu, maybe I'll call this the llama flu just because I think they are disgusting, although somewhat cute creatures.

Because I'm such a conformist, but mainly because I work in a healthcare setting, I followed all the rules and went to see my doctor today. And because I was exhibiting symptoms (i.e. severe headache, mucus (ugh), cough), he did a nasal swab. I have IHC Select Care, and he is on the panel. No problems there. His office is right next door to Pioneer Valley Hospital which routinely does labs. Enter the but factor (not the butt factor, let's not go there). BUT PVH is not an IHC hospital. So, my doc calls my insurance company and they OK the out-of-network payment for the labs to be run at PVH. No problem, right? Wrong. PVH refuses to lab the swab. My doc even walks over there and yells at a few people but they are adamant. No, they won't do the lab work EVEN THOUGH THEY WOULD BE PAID, because they are "rivals." Talk about shit! And they had thrown away the swab!

We had to do another swab and I had to TAKE it to IMC, the giant trama center from hell. No parking, shuttles to take you places because its so big and people routinely get lost. One person got lost last year and has yet to be found. (Don't believe everything you read, peeps.)

Luckily, the lab building is small and the first one as you make the turn into hell and I actually found parking only a HALF mile away. IMC personnel were much nicer the PVH (hate, hate, hate that place). With that taken care of I went to Shopko to get my prescriptions filled.

I wait in line and I'm feeling sick and dizzy. When its my turn, the pharmacy tech says they don't have any Tamiflu in stock. By now, I'm practically crying. All I want are my scripts and my own bed. They call Walgreens and they have it.

So, I drive my llama flu-ridden body another few miles and wait another 45 minutes and finally get the scripts and come home and collapse.

As I'm writing this, I'm feeling somewhat better, but I'm pulling the plug for the night. Llama and I are going to bed. Is our healthcare system screwed up or what?

H1N1 Comes to Town

2009-06-03T16:41:00.003-06:00

Taylor, the chugger of chocolate milk in the previous post, has the piglet flu. It's been confirmed and he is a pretty sick little boy, although Summer said this morning that he was feeling a bit better. Because he was sitting beside me for 3 hours on Saturday, sneezing (which we thought were allergies), I had to see my doc. I was exhibiting some symptoms, but had the whole nasal swab test thing and I'm waiting to hear back. I think I've just got a severe sinus infection going on, but I'm doing the tamiflu dance. One other word: ZICAM. I use these swabs at the first sign of a sneeze and they work!

In other, better news, today is Kiernan's 8th birthday. I can't believe he'll be 8 years old. I would post a picture, but I need my daugher's permission first. He's a cute little bugger.

I'll post separately about my trials and tribulation with the health care system today. Click on the title of this post for a link to the CDC and H1N1.

Shepherd of the Cheese, Part II

2009-05-31T12:59:00.007-06:00

After the graduation ceremony, we had a "Gangsta Style" barbeque at Matt's home in West Valley City.

This picture was actually taken at Christmas, but it seemed to fit.

So Meredith (daughter #2) and John (my common law son-in-law) were playing a game with the grandkids, "What's Your Profession?" Rohan (age 10) said his profession is an artist. Merrie asked him "Who is your inspiration?" Quick as a wink, he grins and says "Leonisi da Vinci!" Without batting an eye, Merrie goes, "Oh, yeah, the younger brother of Leonardo?" Rohan, "Yes! Leonisi's brother!"

Taylor (age 11) says his profession is Heavy Drinker. "I can really chug the chocolate milk!"

Here a picture of Matt and his beautiful wife, Summer:

It was a Really Good Day.

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Shepherd of the Cheese

2009-05-31T12:06:00.009-06:00

Yesterday, my son Matt graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Science degree in Accounting from Westminster College here in SLC. You may now applaud!

The ceremony was held at the E Center and it was L-O-N-G. Three + hours. I got there at 1:30 and we finished with picture taking at 5:15.

Now when I was young (grin), graduations were solemn affairs, marked by polite applause when the graduates walked across the stage. No more, my peeps, graduations are now raucous, loud, and fun. Lots of whistling, yelling, and foot stamping for today's trendy graduate! (This is all leading up to the story behind the title, so be patient).

Matt's instructions were to yell out "something funny" when he walked.

So, at one of the Schaefermeyer family reunions, solemn Brother Bill was giving a Powerpoint on the State of the Family. (I kid you not). Now, Brother Bill is the head of the family since Grandpa died, and he takes his position SERIOUSLY. To interrupt him is to DIE. Unfortunately, a new little daughter-in-law was unaware of his Power and Glory and broke into the presentation breathlessly, stating "I just can't keep it to myself any longer! I couldn't wait to tell you all. We were having a garage sale and this woman came up to me and said she knew what Schaefermeyer means. It means Shepherd of the Cheese!" DEAD SILENCE.

According to an unknown woman at a garage sale, we're the cheesiest! Ever tried to shepherd cheese? It takes a special breed of dog to chase that cheese.

So, we were all going to shout "Go, Shepherd of the Cheese" as Matt walked across the stage, but in the end we were all too chicken, so I guess we're really Poultry of the Cheese.

Here's a picture of the proud graduate pondering:

ThD, Doctor of Thinkology.

"Oh joy, rapture, I've got a brain!"

GOOD JOB, MATT!

Livin' in the 801, by Apartment 204

2009-05-29T22:50:00.001-06:00

Hilarious. Although now we're 801, 435, and 3 whatever.

2009-05-20T21:29:00.004-06:00

My son the accountant:

Matt graduates from Westminster College on Saturday the 30th May. Proud Mommy here.

Picture of Matt "the Thinker", well, OK, the Accountant:

The Outer Banks, North Carolina -Sunrise

2009-05-15T20:25:00.001-06:00

Three more months!

Microfinancing - KIVA

2009-04-27T15:32:00.007-06:00

This is a great idea. I have a friend who uses the month of May to travel to Kenya and help the women there with a small business, made possible by microfinancing. If you've never heard of this, click on the title of this post and it will take you to a website called KIVA, which explains the whole concept.

It's easy to become a part of this, either by yourself, or as a team. You can choose an existing team or start your own!

How about a family team, fam? For $25, we could change a lot of lives! If any of my 10 blog readers are interested, check out the website, especially the risk and due diligence.

I've known about microfinancing for several years, but this makes it possible for anyone to participate. What a concept!

Musings and Cussings

2009-04-23T18:13:00.016-06:00

I don't really know who my mother is. No, I'm not adopted, but we've never really talked about anything important. She's a "proper" Southern lady, but who is she, truly? What is she passionate about? What makes her laugh and what makes her weep with indignity? She's now at an age and condition that makes me cautious about what I say to her and the questions I ask her and so I will never really know.

So who am I?

Hmmm...definitely not proper, I cuss a lot, sometimes. Sometimes, not so much. How did I learn to cuss so well? Not my parents, not my ex, who could it be?

GASP! My dear little children? Awwwwww, say it isn't so! A couple of the little farts have mastered the art of cussing and are working on an advanced degree! I'm 10% sure that they learned this useful art from SouthPark and passed it along to THEIR MOTHER!

I'm actually rather proud of their potty mouths sometimes, especially since they are nice, useful kids. I believe there are places and times in this world for cussing, sometimes for LOTS of it.

This is how my brain works, it wanders from topic to topic, one leading to another and another and another...no Amaretto and Diet Coke tonight, either.

Read at your own risk.

...

Correction

2009-04-22T19:55:00.005-06:00

Ahem....the Outdoors Inn is in Manteo, not Currituck. We'll be flying into Raleigh on Sept 15 and will stay for two weeks. One week will be with family in Kannapolis and environs.

Kids, I will not be wearing a bathing suit, not to worry. I WILL be looking for fun! Yeah, THAT you might want to worry about. If you get a call in the middle of the night, please post bail.

...

2009-04-21T20:17:00.005-06:00

We're booked! Here are a few pictures of the lovely bed and breakfast that Susan booked for us yesterday. This is in Currituck, North Carolina, Outer Banks, and is five minutes from the beach.

These are shots of the Outdoors Inn. It has 2 bedrooms, so we'll be the only two guests there. The owners of this B&B are both hosts and tour guides (if you want). They take you scuba diving and kayaking. SUSAN will dive, while JANE sits on the beach and takes a lot of pictures!

I'm very excited since I have not had a real vacation since I was first married AGES ago. I'm from North Carolina and have been home to visit a lot, but that's all. This is going to be a real VACATION!!

For you latecomers to this blog, Susan and I went to high school and college together and then lost touch. We found each other again on that devil website Facebook. We're both single again and looking for fun!

In North Carolina language, "cain't hardly wait!"

Y'all come back and visit this blog agin real soon!"

Promise of Spring

2009-04-20T16:52:00.002-06:00

Three Sheets to the Wind

2009-04-18T12:32:00.003-06:00

Confession time - I was not the only author of those last three posts. Amaretto and Coke also helped out. Yeah, it was a REALLY BAD DAY.

Still Raining,Salt Lake!

2009-04-16T21:12:00.003-06:00

I'm Cutting You Off

2009-04-16T20:48:00.004-06:00

Some of my CLOSEST FRIENDS and relatives currently receive these posts via email, through no fault of their own. Yes, it's annoying and yes, you're too kind to tell me to my face, THUS, I'm cutting you off! This will be the last (well, probably the last) post you will receive through your swollen inboxes. If you want to read this drivel, please visit the site. (Click on the title of this post and it will take you to the blog). BOOKMARK IT for future fun times!

I really want to keep my friends and not be kicked out of my family. Oh, Shut UP! (That's me talking to myself).

And that's a wrap!

I Had a Bad Day and the Camera Don't LIe

2009-04-16T18:46:00.012-06:00

I had a bad day and I'm taking one down,

Have to sing a sad song just to turn it around,

Hey, Whatchoo looking at?

I had a bad day, can I turn it around?

Have an idea, think my feet are on the ground,

I'll write about the day and I'll put it on the net,
How the skies were dark and gray and my feet got soaking wet,

Yep, I had a bad day, but now it's in the past,
Got a giggle in my head and the hiccups gonna last,
Watch a movie, take a bow,
Doesn't matter anyhow.

Again, with the rain?

2009-04-15T18:40:00.007-06:00

Time for a frog joke:

There once was a little frog who wanted to take out a home improvement loan to fix up his pad. His name is Kermit Jagger.

He hopped over to his local bank, went up to the teller and said, "Hi, I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."

The teller replied, "You need to see our loan officer. Her name is Patricia Black."

So the frog hops over to the loan officer's desk and sits down. When Patricia arrives she ask, "What can I do for you?"

The frog says, "I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."

Patricia asked, "What do you have for collateral?"

After thinking for a couple of moments about what he could offer the frog reaches into his little froggy pocket and pulls out a small white elephant.

"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patricia. "I'll have to check with our bank president to see if it's ok."

Patricia goes to the president and says, "There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who want's a home loan and this white elephant is all he is offering for collateral. What should I do?"

The bank president takes the small white elephant and after carefully examining it hands it back to Patricia and says,

"It's a nick-knack Patty Black give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

GROAN!!

Well, the frogs are happy

2009-04-14T20:31:00.002-06:00

One day of sunshine, three days of rain. Anyone see a pattern here?

Meet The Fam

2009-04-05T19:50:00.005-06:00

"The Fam" went out to dinner tonight to celebrate all the birthdays that happened in the first quarter of the year. As I pulled into the parking lot of Johnny Carino's at Jordan Landing, I saw that my son's monster red truck was there first. Let me say it once and never again: he LOVES that truck. OK, that's out of the way.

He got out and met me and we walked over to get his wife and the boys. I was standing by the back door (told you it's BIG) and my grandson nearly walloped me with it. I said, "Kill your grandma, huh?" and he replied, "somebody find me a shovel!" (He's 10).

So, everyone gets there and we're seated and get our drinks, there's lots of yammering going on and the noise level at our table is pretty loud. No one is paying too much attention to what the boys are doing. There are 4 of them altogether, 4 noisy, smelly boys and not a daisy of a girl in the bunch. 2 belong to my son and his wife and 2 to my daughter and her husband.

Suddenly, the 10 year old (see earlier paragraph) blows chunks all over the table. It seems they were having a "drinking game" with their soda pop. My son gets up and cleans up his son and the table, takes him to the bathroom.

When they return, his father orders him to go sit by his mom. Innocently, she looks up and says, "Why does he had to sit by me?!"

In the end, he was a hero to the other cousins who comforted him with the words, "Well, you won. At least you have your honor".

It Got Up and Went

2009-04-02T16:51:00.004-06:00

When I was about 8 years old, I remember a grownup saying "My get up and go just got up and went." I collapsed on the floor in giggles, thinking that was the funniest thing I had ever heard. It describes how I feel today after arriving home from work - it just got up and went.

A few people have asked me why I named this blog "Puddle." Well, I live in that devil's lair, Salt Lake City, and it is home to the 'Great' Salt Lake, which is really a puddle when compared with an ocean. Visitors are invariably disappointed. "Is this all there is?" "Yup. Ain't she grand?"

Also, I'm pretty insignificant in the great scheme of things, so you could call me a puddle too. (And my friends will, when they read this)! "Hey PUD, whacha doin' Saturday? Wanna see a movie?" I swear, sometimes I TOTALLY ask to be humiliated!

...

Mom, the Bob Has Got To Go

2009-03-29T20:47:00.018-06:00

Last month, my two youngest daughters and I were sitting in a booth at Mimi's on State Street in Murray, consuming a late brunch and managing a sort of conversation between bites. It grew quiet and I looked up from my trough and both girls were gazing at me intently. This is NEVER a good sign. These younguns are two years apart and have a spooky kind of wavelength with each other. I swallowed noisily as one said, "Mom" and the other finished "the bob has got to go."

Having been sized up and found wanting by two snippy little farts whom I produced and gave birth to (with HOURS of PAIN), I succumbed to their youthful wisdom and made an appointment with a new salon in Bountiful, a suburb north of Salt Lake City. I had heard good things about this place and decided to give it a try.

I've had my share of good haircuts, so-so haircuts, and haircuts where I went home bawling my head off, so it was with trepidation that I set off the following Saturday. One of the little farts went with me and the other met us there.

When we arrived, we met Kelly and JP, the co-owners of the salon. JP was to cut and color my hair and also prune and paint my middle daughter's tresses.

All kidding aside, it was a great experience. I had a massage while daughter #2 got her haircut, and she had a massage while I got mine.

JP is a true artist. New York City stylists have nothing over this kid. This is the only haircut in my life that I have truly loved even after a couple of weeks of "doing it at home." I'm posting before and after pictures here.

The name of the salon is Crazy Beautiful and the address is 273 W. 500 S., Bountiful, Utah. Phone # 801-292-9599. There are eleven stations. JP and Kelly are wonderful and Abigail, the massage therapist, is fantastic.

IF YOU GO: Call ahead for an appointment. JP works as late as 10:00 pm for those who can't do daytime (any vampires out there)? Haircuts for women start at about $32. Cut and a color begin at about $65-70 and go up according to what you have done. Expect to be there for awhile. It took several hours to get my hair done. You can have a massage, get your nails done, have a pedicure! A massage is about $60, but if it's your first visit, she will give you a discount.

BTW, I get no kickbacks or special deals from anyplace that I write about on this blog. I just write about what I like and dislike.

BEFORE:

TOP OF MY HEAD AFTER:

Also, the picture on the left side of the blog is an after shot.

Once in awhile, the little farts are right.

...

Mt. Verizon Erupts in Salt Lake City

2009-03-24T19:09:00.008-06:00

Recently I gave up my Comcast Broadband Internet and switched to Verizon thinking that wireless would be less hassle. And that part is true, it's great not to be tied to a cable. And that's where the fairy tale ends and the lava flow begins.

I got my first Verizon bill. $346.82!!! For ONE MONTH. I called Verizon and the first words out of my mouth were "I am extremely, truly, royally, almightily pissed off!" And I was. My normally charming, easygoing self had turned into a volcano of steaming, filthy, white-hot anger.

The words streaming out of my mouth shocked even me and I'm grateful my mother didn't hear. She still believes I'm a delicate flower and far be it from me to dissuade her of holding onto that notion with all her might.

After a lengthy discussion with the service rep, I learned an interesting fact: Verizon wireless is "not meant to be used" for watching movies, YouTube, MySpace or doing anything remotely interesting on the Internet. It is meant for "occasionally" checking your email and paying a bill. This is almost verbatim from the rep!

I felt myself floating out of my body as I manically screamed "So what good is the
f%#*king THING??!" This rep had the patience of a true saint and a pair of really good earplugs.

I was paying $60 a month for a cap of 5GB of "user time". $60 a month so I could check my email! Anything over the 5GB is EXTRA. Hence the $346.82. And I only watched a few movies all month. I had used 19GB. ARRRRGHHHH!!!! Seriously, I watched steam rise up out of my head, float to the ceiling, and desperately try to escape the looney woman with the (really) LOUD voice. If only I could project that much when I'm singing.

In the end, she took the extra charges off my bill and suggested I go back to Comcast and turn the Verizon device into a 2nd cell phone for $10 a month. NO KIDDING, a VERIZON rep told me to go back to Comcast. By this time, I had fallen onto my bed in a complete collapse which was good since I was turning red trying to stifle.

And so I did. I have Comcast back and it has 250 satisfying GB of "user time" a month. I can watch all the movies and the devil YouTube I want. I'm a happy woman.

Better Than Poking Out My Eyeballs

2009-03-22T16:55:00.006-06:00

Rainy, lazy Sunday in Salt Lake City. This I can live with. I'm Carolina born and bred and Utah winters make me want to poke out my eyeballs and post them on eBay. God sends the snow as my punishment for breaking my mother's heart and moving to the devil's playground. At least I have the Outer Banks to look forward to in September. An old friend and I reconnected on Facebook (another devil's lair) and we're planning a vacation to go home and see friends, family, and the ocean! There is justice in this world! I really look forward to seeing her again in September. We'll be two old ladies in purple and red, oohing and aahing at the lighthouses and gardens and getting tipsy at the weekly wine tasting.

Salt Lake isn't so bad, but there's no ocean, just a puddle. Yes, we have the (not so) Great Salt Lake and luckily for you humans in the rest of the world who dislike bland food, the Morton Salt Factory. Pepper and Mrs. Dash can never take the place of sprinkles of those heavenly white crystals (I know where your corrupted minds are going right now) of SALT. We also have skiing and Sundance and great art and music and so I decided to stay.

I have high hopes for this blog becoming an account of my daily doings. I wish I had kept journals during my life. Blogging is a little more immediate and I've always been one for immediate gratification so this may work.

If I've included you on my email list and you do not wish to receive these posts, please let me know and I'll remove you. I promise it won't hurt my precious little feelings.

Goodnight Moon.